Monday, 11 October 2010

I am terrible at remembering to update this thing.
It's monday, Abbie's dad is over later on today, I've got a ton of housework and it's badgers this evening. can i have a few extra hours in the day please?

Thursday, 12 August 2010


Oh my word, I'm strangely emotional today. I cried watching Nanny 911, I cried watching Pom Poko, and I cried when Abbie sang to me. It's quite strange really, I try not to cry too much, but today I'm like a leaky tap.

Tomorrow a guy from Greencycle Brighton is coming over to collect my spare washing machine tomorrow, and then I'm going to ask my Daddy to plumb my new one in. Hurrah! I like being able to help out. The washing machine that's going came from Crawley Freecycle about 5 years ago, so it's carrying on the circle of life.

I'm not sure what's going on this weekend. Abbie's father is due to visit, but as per usual, with 48 hours left before he's due to arrive, I've heard nothing. I'm too bored of repeating the same complaint though. He won't change. He's always been a self centred little berk.

Sunday, 11 July 2010


So. I managed to dismantle Abbie's bed without major injury. One trapped finger was the only casualty of singlehandedly demolishing a bed that had taken 2 people to put together. Within the next 24 hours Abbie will have her brand new (to her, but actually 1940s vintage) bed, once more peace (and seperate bedrooms) will be with us.

Have offered a few things on Lewes Freegle today in the hope of decluttering, and plan on filling up my fathers car boot with charity shop offerings in the week, to be taken to the Age UK/Cancer Research shops in town. Decluttering is destressing for me, I am determined to sort out my habitual pack-ratted-ness.

Friday, 9 July 2010


Forgot to add earlier. I'm 26 now. I'm closer to 30 than 20 and I'm only mentioning for numerical value, not that I give a crap about numbers. I had a...birthday. I always feel selfish for feeling.. underwhelmed on my birthday. I try to make as much effort as I can for other people, and not that I expect anything in return, but I would like a big party and a fuss I think. (Though in actuality, I'm cripplingly shy in big groups of people and would probably hate such a fuss).

I didn't go to the Brighton Zine Fest this year because I felt nervous about going on my own, but I think I'm going to ask (one of) my brother(s) to babysit and possibly my dad too so that I can go to as much of it next year as possible. As always there will be sofa-age, or the other half of my big bed should friends want to attend (please. I don't want to do it alone. I feel like a (fat) sore thumb amongst people)

I used to have a crush on Liam Gallagher when I was 13. Watching Oasis performing I am the walrus from those days back when on tv reminded me of this somewhat.


Wow, I've been away for a while, I've felt disassociated with a lot of things lately, It's quite hard to describe my feelings. I've been stressed, distressed too. Wow, cheerfulness.

I feel lonely, but happy with it, I don't know quite where my brain is going, I only seem to have these little bursts of thought lately.

I'm looking forward to new DVDs coming soon (My Beautiful Laundrette (without dutch subs that confuse me), Tipping The Velvet and a new copy of Harry Potter and the Philosophrs stone because Abface and I wore the original out!)

Have BBC4 on now, with Elton John doing a fab cover of "I saw her standing there"

Abbie's new bed comes on Monday, and I'm so excited. Once that's in, I can start organising everything again. I think life had started to drive my crazy.

Thursday, 17 June 2010


Today the post gods were benevolent towards me. I recieved Issues 4 & 5 of Fight Boredom from Hello Amber which I prompty sat down and pored over. I feel really positive after reading them, and I want to get out and do so much stuff. I also recieved a package from a penpal in America, and a postcard from Postcrossing. Fabulous post day!

There's now 10 days to my birthday which sounds so strange, since it still doesn't feel as though New Year was all that long ago. I still don't have plans for my day, it's a sunday, and if it's a sunny day I might take cakes down to the paddock or the grange for a picnic. I don't feel as though I'm in my mid 20s. It's strange. 3.20pm yesterday was 10 years from the moment I left secondary school, but parts of me still feel as though I belong there.

I saw my Grandmother in hospital yesterday. I'm glad to see that she's getting better. My Aunty had said they were half expecting to be telling everyone that she had died. Nan is 76, but she's announced that she reckons she'll have another 20 or so years "left in her" which made me think hard. I'm 10 days shy of 26 and I have 75 of my grandparents around (Well, tenchnically 50% as my grandad is my stepgrandad, but I've never known anyone else... so it's 75%)... I went to school with quite a few people who had no grandparents by the time they had turned 11. I have more Grandparents alive than Abbie. She just has my Dad, the one grandparent. But then of course, 3 Great-grandparents. I lost my last Great-grandparent age 15, in April of 2000, and if my Nan's prediction is right then Abbie will be my age when she loses that particular great-grandparent, and I will be 46 when my Nan dies... Isn't that quite something? There is longevity through my family, something that thrills me. I look forward to having a long and eventful life.

There are too many things around for me to allow myself to get bored. Even something as simple as enjoying a half hour of a TV show I like, it's fun, I'm enjoying myself, and refusing to let feelings of boredom in. I've taken to going around with notebooks in my bag just so I can write lists, write anything really.

I hope anyone who is reading has a fucking beautiful day. I'm sure you're a wonderful human being, and you'll surely deserve it.

Monday, 14 June 2010


Baking. I love baking!

I learnt to cook from a young age. With 2 Grandmothers and a father who all worked within the catering trade I guess it was inevitable that I would have an interest. I think cooking is an important skill to have. Saving money (I often cook up enough of a certain meal for 3/4 people and then freeze half for my daughter and I to have at a later date), and when you cook from scratch you're more aware of what you're putting in to your body.

I'm 2 weeks shy of 26 now, it always shocks me when people of my age say they can't cook! I know that people are into baking a lot more these days as fairycakes appear to be "fashionable" these days, but SO many people don't seem to know the first thing about cooking a meal from scratch. I had a friend around for tea recently who was shocked that the Quorn Toad In The Hole that was on the table had been made from scratch. It's hardly rocket science to me. Cook sausages, make up pancake batter, pour on top, slap in the oven and wait. But it's apparently a dying art.

No suprise when you see frozen mashed potato for sale in the grocery store. Talk about the height of laziness!!!

I get irritating comments from people about how I'm a "good little housewife" and will make someone a "good wife" one of these days. Urgh. How insulting! I cook, knit, sew and craft for my own pleasure. Not because I want to attract a mate. I'm very happily single. No matter how few people believe me. I was in a long term relationship for almost 5 years, and the crap I put up with has put me off relationships for a while yet. But why because I'm female, is it assumed that things I do are for the benefit of, or to attract, men? You wouldn't go and ask a male chef if he's in the kitchen until he finds a wife would you?

Saturday, 12 June 2010


Today I took some food over to my Grandad. Nan's going to be in hospital for at least another week and a bit, and I figured he'd appreciate a little home cooking. Plus I made him sausage casserole which Nan refuses to make! We had a nice time, mentioned about going to France next summer (hopefully Nan and Grandad will come with us) and Grandad gave me a leaflet about Dieppe (where we're going), a french phrase book and a french lesson casette. I did 7 years of French, from Year 5 to Year 11 at school, but in the 10 years hence I've forgotten almost everything! I know odd snatches of french, memorised from Amelie, Juste Une Question D'Amour and other favourite films, but once I've introduced myself, and asked how much things cost in shops I've generally exhausted my french knowledge. (Strangely, I only learnt German from Year 7 to Year 11, but my German seems to be much better than my French!). Age 26 It will be my first time overseas, I can't wait though.

After we left Nan and Grandads house we went back into town via my Aunty and Uncles, and we went to town, got a bit of lunch (Icy Lemon Fanta. Nothing will ever come close for chilled beverage refreshment... except Irn Bru)... then Abbster and I made our way home.

On the way we stopped for a breather on a little bench built into a wall, over looking the paddock playing field, just along from where the Battle of Lewes was fought in the 13th century, and I felt so calm and happy and able to write, for the first time in a while. I wrote a whole piece for my zine sitting there.

Post in/out:

In - 2 DVDs from amazon (only yesterday, poltergay), a letter from my dear penpal in Germany, envelopes via a swap from Denmark and Zines from the fab Vampire Sushi distro.

Out - nothing actually out in post, but 6 letters and a package ready to go out monday morning.